SEX IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP

When I work with couples, sex is seldom brought up as one of the predominant issues. I'm too old and have been doing this work too long to think that it isn't. What I believe is that bringing up sex problems is awkward and by the time it gets to my office, it's a very touchy subject because feelings have been hurt on both sides, more than once. What always stands out when I'm listening to each partner is how hurt each one feels and how rejected each one feels, yet, each one also believes that their partner isn't suffering like they are or that they don't care as much as they do. Imagine facing off against someone whom you believe is deliberately hurting you or, best case scenario, doesn't even care enough about you to try to hurt you. In that situation you want to fight for yourself, be heard, not lose any ground, hold your own, save face, avoid humiliation at all costs! Now imagine facing your partner, the person you love, who loves you, even if you're not in the mood to imagine that at this moment, do it anyway for the sake of this exercise. You...

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