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Category: Parenting/Children

THERE IS NO DRESS REHEARSAL FOR OLD AGE

February 20, 2021
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| Categories: Aging, Families, Parenting/Children

And no one thinks the curtain will rise with themselves starring in Old Age. We thought old people came that way, never imagining they were once young Our culture turns away from wrinkles, bald heads, age spots, arthritic knuckles and doesn't value wisdom and experience. The time arrives that elders are moved to "a place that can take care of them," meaning three meals a day, laundry, and TV, or to a place where they can be around other people "your age," meaning bingo, crazy hat day, and movie night. You say that's what we need when what we know is that we've become inconvenient. We get put away in a place where we won't burden others with the infirmities that come with aging. Even if it's a nice place, it isn't home. We have more to offer than ever before, yet we annoy younger folks because we don't hear well, don't see well, and our short term memory seems to have turned into a sieve We don't want to be put away. We want to be with our families, want to hug the new babies as they come along, watch the movie, eat the meals, have tea parties with...

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HELPING YOUR TEEN DURING THE CORONA VIRUS PANDEMIC

January 4, 2021
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Parenting/Children, Trauma

Everyone is affected by the world pandemic we have endured for a year now. Daily life has been severely impacted on so many levels some days it can feel like there is nothing to do but sit down and stare at the wall. The bills are due, the job is gone, responsible people have practiced social distancing, wearing a mask, and staying home as much as possible meaning no bars, no social events, no sporting events, extreme stress and high anxiety. Congratulations if you and your partner have figured out how to be together doing fun activities and chores without sniping or outright arguing. Generally, that requires agreed upon alone time that you use to go into a room where you are alone, and read, paint, meditate, work on crafts, do something on the computer other than work or porn or pretending you’re single and cruising dating sites. You can do anything, research, read all kinds of interesting articles, catch up on social media, send emails to friends or chat with a friend or friends from the privacy of your alone time. It’s even more important at this time to maintain social and familial connections than before the pandemic began....

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EARLY CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

December 19, 2019
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| Categories: Anxiety, Families, Life Stress, Parenting/Children, Personal Growth, Relationships, Trauma

This is an important video explaining what happens to developing brains that are traumatized, and gives us a better understanding of childhood trauma, and why talk therapy in adulthood and childhood, for as long as it takes to help the client heal, is the best course of treatment. Without healing, the damage creating unhealthy responses in children continues into adulthood, and can severely impact adult relationships. It's the story that needs to be told and heard with caring and empathy. .https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYyEEMlMMb0&feature=youtu.be

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Step-Families and Triangulation in General

May 15, 2018
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| Categories: Blog, Families, Life Stress, Parenting/Children, Relationships

In Family Systems Theory, triangulation is when any two people form a stronger bond with each other against a third person. There are so many family combinations of mom/mom or mom/dad or dad/dad or grandma/dad and so on that I couldn’t possibly address all of them. When two nouns are needed, I’m going to use mom and dad. When just one noun is required, I’ll say the person, but if it’s two, I’ll use mom, dad, and child/ren. You can apply your own labels suitable for your family system once you see the pattern. Here is a list of some of the possibilities: Child and mom form a stronger alliance than mom’s alliance with dad, which drives dad away. One spouse, after the divorce, deliberately communicates messages to the child that indicate the other parent is inferior or the first parent is so much better, loves the child more, etc. A child cultivates a relationship with the biological parent and shuns the stepparent. A stepparent shuns the child and cultivates her relationship with her new partner. Grandma and child against grandma’s child, the parent. This example covers much of what triangulation is all about. It is a family system where...

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About You Part 1

March 24, 2018
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Parenting/Children, Personal Growth

There’s much talk, some action and much inaction when it comes to professing self-love, doing yoga and drinking green tea, having best friends from the second grade, to looking honestly at yourself and admitting you hate yourself, loath yourself, and, quickly now you’ll go there, then put it out of your mind right away. Truth is, if there wasn’t self-loathing in the world there would be no war. It’s the best kept secret, no one ever admits to unless they’re in therapy. You didn’t suddenly just wake up one day and had the oh so sudden thought about hating yourself. No, it was a gift some or one unwitting adult gave you, mostly not out of meanness but out of ignorance. Bad parenting is handed down from generation to generation, so no one knows that the way they’re doing it is going to cause one more generation of self-loathing adults. If you, when you were a kid, were ridiculed at home or at school, punished harshly and unfairly, couldn’t understand the homework and no one would help   Cont. Part 2 tomorrow

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Need Sleep Now?

March 7, 2017
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| Categories: Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Families, Life Stress, Parenting/Children, Relationships, Transitions

A common sign of depression is sleep disturbance, not being able to fall asleep as well as waking up one or several times during the night or waking up before you are ready to wake up. It's also a common sign of a new baby in the house, worrying about something, feeling stressed and anxious, and various other things similar to what I've listed. This exercise is excellent although it will take some practice and patience. You can't do it once or twice and give up because you don't think it's going to work. This article explains why it will work for just about everything except someone snoring very loudly right next to you or living within feet of  train tracks and it's a much better solution than drugs that can be addicting like Ambien. Now, if your doctor prescribes Ambien for you please take it. You should do what your medical doctor tells you to do. However, you might also give this exercise a try and see how it goes. Good sleep is essential for good mental health. If you aren't getting enough sleep your symptoms will likely increase, not decrease, something you should avoid if at all possible....

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