If you’re in a relationship and have been in one for a while, that would mean longer than a year, you can probably remember how your heart quickened when you saw your loved one.

You might even be one of the people who say that they knew as soon as they saw their partner that he/she was the one. And weren’t the kisses divine. And the talking, my my it seemed like you’d never run out of things to talk about. You were so happy, you couldn’t believe how happy you were and you believed you would be in love with that special person forever.

For those of you who didn’t eat that bitter pill of disillusionment and walk away, who are still together but feeling like that old spark just isn’t there anymore.

Where did those kisses on the back of the neck go, those torrid nights, those little things like discovering¬† a love note on the counter upon awakening? You know, the attention to detail, groomed and perfumed, dressed well and not in fifteen year old sweats and tennis shoes even the Goodwill wouldn’t accept. How about those sexy little things that are sexy little things if you’re going to wear them or sexy little things if you’re a man like washing her car without her having to ask you? Yes, there are some differences between the sexes.

To begin with, run an experiment. Sit or stand, looking at your partner and look directly into their eyes. Look into their eyes with curiosity, wonder if you really know who they are anymore. Have you asked without complaining, listened without getting defensive, asked how they are, if they need or want something, or even how they’re doing ? O.K. Have you asked them if they’re hungry and would they like you to fix them a sandwich if the above is too difficult to manage.

After a relationship has wound around life’s turns a few times, people get used to each other and they get lazy. Yes, it’s as simple as that, just plain lazy. So they stop looking into the eyes of their partner and caring about what their partner has to say, they have something more important to do, some place to go, something, something, and it will always be something, until one of you has passed and then the regrets begin.

Don’t live with regrets. Look into your partner’s eyes so he/she can see you looking and being interested in what’s in who they are, who they’ve grown into because humans are always evolving.

It’s such a sweet thing to sit together for a half an hour and look into each others eyes and remember what it was that attracted you to each other in the first place It was something important and that something is probably still there if you look for it.

Love is so much better than apathy. When you give love, you’ll get love. It might take some time because you have to take into consideration that you may have thrown your partner into shock, but be patient and give it a few times, explaining what you want to do, telling them you do love them and you want to connect in a closer, more intimate and caring way. The rewards are great, much greater than the effort it took to find your loved one again.