Email [email protected]
Menu

Category: Parenting/Children

WHEN TO STAY AND WHEN TO GO

March 26, 2014
| No Comments
| Categories: Families, Life Stress, Parenting/Children, Personal Growth, Relationships

It’s easy to say when to leave a relationship. Leave if you’re being abused physically or if you’re being abused verbally or psychologically and your partner won’t stop or agree to counseling. If your partner cheats on you and refuses to go to counseling, leave. If your partner has any kind of addiction, drugs, alcohol, gambling, Internet porn you don’t agree to, spending money he/she doesn’t have until the family can’t pay bills, and refuses to seek treatment, or sometimes refuses to even admit there’s a problem, you should leave because, unless someone wants to change, and then actively seeks some sort of support to create change like individual counseling, group therapy, AA, NA, or any other identified form of treatment, it’s unlikely they’ll change. Will power is seldom, if ever, enough to create lasting change. If your partner lies to you repeatedly, not white lies but big lies, for example, “I went to work today,” when he/she actually got fired the week before or “I’m going to my mother’s house,” and he/she doesn’t, instead going somewhere else, which they may or may not deny when you confront them, you should leave if there’s either an unwillingness to admit there’s...

Read More ›

WHAT YOUR CHILD DOES NEED FROM YOU

February 3, 2014
| No Comments
| Categories: Parenting/Children

I’ve written a couple of articles about what your child doesn’t need from you so here’s one about what your child does need from you.  1. Your Interest. We’re all busy most of the time, if not at work then working at the other things we have to do. If you feel like you can just never catch up, never finish with everything you have to do you’re not alone. So when your child starts a conversation with you, wants to tell you something that you’re not particularly interested in hearing, remember a child’s parents are the people who tell her/him whether or not she’s lovable and that’s her starting point for how she feels about herself as she grows into adulthood and out into the world.  2. Your Time. Set aside some time every day, even if it’s only fifteen minutes, to sit with your child and listen or just sit if they don’t want to talk. Meal time is a good time since everyone has to eat. Ask questions about something you know your child is interested in, not the questions you have to ask like whether or not homework is finished but questions that are neutral or positive. At least once a week offer to do something with your child like watch...

Read More ›

LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES

January 31, 2014
| No Comments
| Categories: Life Stress, Parenting/Children

            This article pertains to teenagers because consequences are different depending on the age and stage of the development of the child.             First here’s a list of things you need to know about your teenager as they individuate and separate from their family of origin, returning once they’ve successfully navigated adolescence: 1.  Every teenager needs:            a. some rules that never change like they can’t take the car to Lake Tahoe to hang out with their friends for the weekend and having a cell phone is dependent on getting at least a C average in school.             b. some rules can be negotiated like, “If you want to go to the movies after school and you know I don’t let you go to the movies after school what can you do in terms of school work that will show me it’s O.K. for you to go to the movies with Susan this afternoon.”             c. some freedom to choose. If she wants to wear a purple hair extension in her hair it’s fine. 2.  Your teenager will tell you and act like they are in complete control of their lives in word, thought, and deed, especially if they’re hearing something...

Read More ›