Depression, Low self-esteem, anxiety

       This little or big monster comes in many forms for many reasons. Some, you’re born with even if it doesn’t show up until later in life. They are in your genes and show up at the least expected and most inconvenient times, and others are what we call "learned behaviors" meaning you learned it from someone you were around long enough to have adapted your own psyche to a perceived threat that other person manifested over time, and you internalized the fear without even realizing you did it.              People who don't experience severe, by that I mean, on a scale of one to ten, a five up on a daily or almost daily basis, couldn't possibly imagine what it feels like because you look just fine on the outside. Nonetheless, it can be devastating. Here is a helpful article for one type of anxiety. It’s called, “Imposter Syndrome.” Read all about it by clicking on the link here and you’ll be taken to that page: https://www.nytimes.com/guides/working-womans-handbook/overcome-impostor-syndrome?module=inline .

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Mental Health Tests and Quizzes

I found these tests and quizzes at Psych Central. Now here is the disclaimer: if you or anyone you know decide to take these tests just for fun then have fun. However, if you or someone you know is taking these tests and quizzes because you're concerned that you might have one of the disorders, you should seek at least one session of counseling with a therapist to review whether or not the therapist agrees that you do have that diagnosis. Self tests aren't always reliable so don't freak yourself out. Just make an appointment with a licensed therapist. Tests and quizzes can also be fun to take just to prove to yourself you don't have any of these disorders, don't we all do that or at least succumb to Facebook quizzes? http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/

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SEX IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP

When I work with couples, sex is seldom brought up as one of the predominant issues. I'm too old and have been doing this work too long to think that it isn't. What I believe is that bringing up sex problems is awkward and by the time it gets to my office, it's a very touchy subject because feelings have been hurt on both sides, more than once. What always stands out when I'm listening to each partner is how hurt each one feels and how rejected each one feels, yet, each one also believes that their partner isn't suffering like they are or that they don't care as much as they do. Imagine facing off against someone whom you believe is deliberately hurting you or, best case scenario, doesn't even care enough about you to try to hurt you. In that situation you want to fight for yourself, be heard, not lose any ground, hold your own, save face, avoid humiliation at all costs! Now imagine facing your partner, the person you love, who loves you, even if you're not in the mood to imagine that at this moment, do it anyway for the sake of this exercise. You...

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