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Tag: adults

Ten Signs of a Toxic Kid

August 18, 2016
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| Categories: Anxiety, Families, Parenting/Children

In every bookstore there are books about toxic parents and we all have to agree that we learned as we parented and most of our kids have some legitimate complaints. Usually we did the best we could do with what we had to work with. What we had to work with is often called “multi-generational family patterns of dysfunction”. Put simply, it means we learned how to parent from our parents who learned how to parent from their parents who learned how to parent from their parents who learned how to parent from their parents and so on, each generation handing down the same or mostly same parenting style until it gets to the helicopter parent of today who decided to do a 180 and parent exactly opposite the way he/she was parented and winds up creating toxic kid from hell. Healing and understanding is possible, sometimes with the help of a therapist. Guilt doesn’t help anyone and guilt is the chief cause of toxic kids. Here are just a few examples of toxic kids: Your kid only gets off the couch to go to the refrigerator and bathroom. Your kid is thirty. Your kid brings his/her laundry to your...

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EFFECTIVE TREATMENT FOR DEPRESSION

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth

Exercise! Wait, hold on, don’t stop reading yet. Why? Because in double blind studies, exercise has been shown to be an effective treatment for depression. It isn’t just a way for your therapist to insure you’re not spending the day in bed. It really works. If you’ve been to therapy for depression, your therapist has probably advised you to exercise, you’ve nodded your head in agreement and many of you have gone home and done nothing.   So, what’s the problem? Depressed people don’t want to exercise. They’re depressed! A depressed person might have trouble getting up, getting dressed, and putting one foot in front of the other. That often feels like all the exercise a depressed person can tolerate. But it really does work, so now what?. This is what: it’s that old putting one foot in front of the other routine. Don’t think you have to join a gym or work out for an hour every day or go swimming or ride your bike five miles. Think about it this way: 1.   If you have stairs, walk up and down them when you don’t have to, beginning once a day and then increasing to five times a day....

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LEAVING THE DREAM

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth

When you wake up in the morning do you wish you didn't have to get out of bed, that you could just close your eyes and sleep because what's in front of you is less than pleasant, like getting ready for work, commuting, working, going home, eating, falling back into bed, to sleep and wake up to the same grind again? If so, it's important that you establish some kind of morning ritual that grounds you in the real world, nature, an animal, fresh air. Try leaving sweats and tennis shoes right next to your bed and taking a quick, fast walk around your block before you do anything else, roll out, throw on the sweats and go, it's fifteen minutes, or put a flower that has a scent, like a rose, in a vase in the room but away from the bed so you can stand up and put your nose into the alive aroma of nature, inhale deeply and exhale, thinking three positive thoughts to counteract the negative. Or make sure you have something you really like ready to eat and waiting for you in the kitchen so you'll be inspired to get up and move to the...

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GETTING UP OR NOT

March 26, 2014
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| Categories: Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

O.K. It's Saturday morning. You wake up the sun is shining or not, it's raining or not, but you're warm, safe, and there isn't anything you have to do in the next two hours so you don't have to jump up and start hustling toward a work day like most of you do during the week. One would think it would be a time of relaxation, contemplation, or to make plans to do something enjoyable, and it is for some of you. For others, it's the time when depression, despair and confusion reign. To those people: If you're in a relationship, you wonder why you stay and if you're not, you're wondering if you ever will find that special person. If you work forty or more hours a week, you wonder if there's an end to this toiling away just to pay the rent, or maybe you don't have a job and haven't been able to find one. Maybe you have a job but your partner doesn't and you're tired of carrying the load, maybe it's reversed and your partner is tired of carrying the load. Maybe you're old and facing the unbearably sad truth that this culture doesn't value...

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