WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON’T KNOW YOURSELF

Very often you look to others, your friends, family, coworkers to see how you’re doing. Are you good enough? Do you fit in? Are you going to continue to rise up whatever ladder you’re looking at, professional or personal? You’re born like a plant seeking the light. If the plant is placed in a dark corner it will twist itself to try to grow toward the light. If a person, from a very early age, realizes what gets them love and attention, they will repeat those attitudes, beliefs, what they say or do, to continue getting love from others. However, you were already born a person, and maybe your family of origin doesn’t understand that. Perhaps they believe it’s their job to turn you into a person, not to be curious about who you are and to guide you into adulthood and independence as yourself, who you were when you were born. You begin wearing a mask you believe is you. The problem is that you have to keep changing masks depending on the other people you’re around and what expectations they have of you. Since you haven’t internalized a solid sense of self that allows you to put on...

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Depression, Low self-esteem, anxiety

       This little or big monster comes in many forms for many reasons. Some, you’re born with even if it doesn’t show up until later in life. They are in your genes and show up at the least expected and most inconvenient times, and others are what we call "learned behaviors" meaning you learned it from someone you were around long enough to have adapted your own psyche to a perceived threat that other person manifested over time, and you internalized the fear without even realizing you did it.              People who don't experience severe, by that I mean, on a scale of one to ten, a five up on a daily or almost daily basis, couldn't possibly imagine what it feels like because you look just fine on the outside. Nonetheless, it can be devastating. Here is a helpful article for one type of anxiety. It’s called, “Imposter Syndrome.” Read all about it by clicking on the link here and you’ll be taken to that page: https://www.nytimes.com/guides/working-womans-handbook/overcome-impostor-syndrome?module=inline .

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