DEPRESSION, WHAT IT IS, WHAT NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS IT

Here is a link to a blog article about depression and what well intentioned people shouldn't say to anyone who is depressed. The interesting thing about what not to say is that most people will be tempted to say at least one of the eleven listed because they seem so, well, helpful or distracting or humorous. None of these eleven statements are helpful to people suffering from depression. Depression can be situational or a person may have a genetic predisposition for depression and, in either case, there are better things to do. For one, encouraging a depressed person to share with you what they're feeling then listening and responding with empathic statements like, "It sounds like you're having a hard time right now," or "Tell me how you're feeling so I can try to understand." Taking the time to listen without comparing what they're saying to what you feel or your Aunt Gertrude feels can be very comforting and even helpful to a depressed person. Here's the link to what not to say: www.medicalbillingandcoding.org/blog/11-things-you-should-never-say-to-someone-with-depression  

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SUFFERING

“The foundation of all mental illness is the avoidance of legitimate suffering.” -Carl Jung No one who is suffering wants to be told that their suffering is legitimate suffering. Mentally Healthy people want the suffering to stop, want to return to a mental place where they are no longer suffering. If you are looking for a sign or a guide, this post will help you. That makes sense. Emotional suffering can be just as awful as physical suffering. I can tell someone that their suffering won’t last, that even if they do nothing a better day will come or, at the very least, they will grow and learn new ways to be that are more rewarding  but no one has ever skipped out of my office praising the virtues of suffering no matter what I say to them. Still, Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, made a good point with his statement. Suffering is part of the human condition. No one escapes suffering. The question is what is legitimate suffering? Here’s a partial list: 1. You lost a loved one to death, divorce, or illness. 2. You lost something you valued, a job, a home, a pet. 3. You...

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THE END OF WINTER

Even though we know we need water to end the drought, we are tired of cold, gray days and we long for spring's first warmth. Winter doesn't seem so bad until it's gone on for a few months and then, as impatient as if we were standing in front of a microwave waiting for 30 seconds to end, we want sunshine, we want to go outside, shed our jackets and coats and feel the sun (O.K. slathered in sunscreen) on our eager faces. Some people might notice they feel more irritable, some a little blue or blah. Nothing seems interesting and curling up under a soft down comforter seems like just the right thing to do. The acronym SAD was devised some years back for a newly discovered type of depression called, Seasonal Affective Disorder, basically meaning: Where is the sun and why is it so cold and why can't I ride my bike, walk my dog, run on the beach, and how many more days do I have to stay inside? SAD is particularly prevalent in places like Alaska because of the long months of twilight and cold temperatures. Light banks have been used successfully by many and they...

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ANXIETY

When you were a kid did you ever suddenly wonder how your body was breathing then suddenly feel your chest tighten and think that maybe you couldn't or wouldn't keep breathing? O.K. I was considered strange by my brothers, I did and you didn't, but it does illustrate a point I'd like to make. The point being that we do so many things naturally until we begin to think about it. Now thinking, most of the time, is a good thing. But thinking about whether or not you have cancer or whether or not you can sleep or whether or not you can breathe, only increases anxiety and that's what happens in a panic attack. Something triggers the attack and it could be anything. Let's say your parents got a divorce when you were a kid and you didn't know who you were going to live with, whether or not it was your fault, whether or not your parents were still going to love you and so on. Now, grow yourself up about thirty years and begin having a hard time at work, your boss is too tough on you, making new demands on you, you're not sure whether or...

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FEELING EMPTY

Our feelings are very important, even negative feelings, because they tell us something about ourselves. Just like a pain in our foot indicates there's something wrong with our foot, and we need to pay attention to it or we could injure it further, negative emotions are signals to us to pay attention. Feeling empty isn't the same as feeling lonely although it's a kissing cousin and could be there as well. Feeling empty is how a person can feel even when they're in a relationship, one they like. Drinking or using drugs might fix that feeling in the short term but in the long term it will only make the feeling worse. Schools today have had to stop emphasizing the arts because of "No Child Left Behind." Teachers are forced to teach for the tests and cannot allow time for very much creative work. So, children aren't learning how to self-soothe by pursuing individual creative interests. Being absorbed in painting, writing, photography, and many other types of creative endeavors allows the individual time to separate from the external world and become completely absorbed in what they're doing, following their own noses, so to speak. Shopping doesn't count, going to lunch...

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EFFECTIVE TREATMENT FOR DEPRESSION

Exercise! Wait, hold on, don’t stop reading yet. Why? Because in double blind studies, exercise has been shown to be an effective treatment for depression. It isn’t just a way for your therapist to insure you’re not spending the day in bed. It really works. If you’ve been to therapy for depression, your therapist has probably advised you to exercise, you’ve nodded your head in agreement and many of you have gone home and done nothing.   So, what’s the problem? Depressed people don’t want to exercise. They’re depressed! A depressed person might have trouble getting up, getting dressed, and putting one foot in front of the other. That often feels like all the exercise a depressed person can tolerate. But it really does work, so now what?. This is what: it’s that old putting one foot in front of the other routine. Don’t think you have to join a gym or work out for an hour every day or go swimming or ride your bike five miles. Think about it this way: 1.   If you have stairs, walk up and down them when you don’t have to, beginning once a day and then increasing to five times a day....

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