THERE IS NO DRESS REHEARSAL FOR OLD AGE

And no one thinks the curtain will rise with themselves starring in Old Age. We thought old people came that way, never imagining they were once young Our culture turns away from wrinkles, bald heads, age spots, arthritic knuckles and doesn't value wisdom and experience. The time arrives that elders are moved to "a place that can take care of them," meaning three meals a day, laundry, and TV, or to a place where they can be around other people "your age," meaning bingo, crazy hat day, and movie night. You say that's what we need when what we know is that we've become inconvenient. We get put away in a place where we won't burden others with the infirmities that come with aging. Even if it's a nice place, it isn't home. We have more to offer than ever before, yet we annoy younger folks because we don't hear well, don't see well, and our short term memory seems to have turned into a sieve We don't want to be put away. We want to be with our families, want to hug the new babies as they come along, watch the movie, eat the meals, have tea parties with...

Read More ›

BABY BOOMERS, FACTS AND FICTION

Some people, mostly women, of a certain age have determined that they prefer living alone and that being in a relationship is not something they yearn for. As my grandmother put it several years after my grandfather died, "I already cooked and cleaned for one man. I don't want to cook and clean for another one." And that's just fine because those people are making a choice and the choice that pleases them. Still, there are many seniors who would like to have a partner and do want to fall in love again. In fact, there are plenty of seniors who will fall in love, and hold hands, kiss, make love, and fall asleep next to someone who makes their heart happy. Unfortunately, there are certain mythologies about seniors that circulate as fact when they’re actually fiction. Many seniors don’t have any expectation that there is a special person for them. So they don’t look, they don’t hope, they don’t aspire to anything but they do feel lonely and depressed. If a senior believes that the only thing to look forward to is going to church to pray to whatever god they believe in that they go quick and without...

Read More ›

FINDING YOUR VOICE AS YOU AGE

Of course, finding your voice at any age is great, as many people are too focused on what other people think and not what they feel or think. For seniors, however, finding one's voice is especially critical because so many assumptions are made about seniors today. Here are some common one: All seniors prefer to be with their families over all other activities. All seniors have nothing to talk about but their aches an pains. Seniors have given up being sexual. Seniors are grateful for the things others take them to or invite them to and are happy with that. Seniors don't know how to flirt, be silly, joke around, dream about the future, have great desire and passions. These are just a few of them. I could list many more. We, as seniors, need to find a collective voice that tells this country who we really are, not just tax phobic, insulated, half bathed elderly people who hope someone will invite them somewhere to get their minds off of worrying about their health. We were young once and have a lot to share, we have stories about the history of this country, about the history of where we live,...

Read More ›

A SENIOR THOUGHT

After we've raised families, or retired, or completed "middle age," and moved on, we sometimes feel sad and depressed or empty and lost. An important aspect of aging is that, as we age, we still need to "matter." Mattering to someone isn't the same as being needed because we're better than the bank (no interest loan that never gets paid back) or are convenient baby sitters. Mattering means we count, we're wanted at the family gathering because we're interesting and enjoyable, not that we're "parked" at the family gathering because, oh well, what else are they going to do with us? Mattering means seeing someone's face light up at the sight of us or hearing the phone ring because someone wants to talk to us or someone wants to come and visit or someone wants us to come and visit. Becoming irrelevant in our lifetimes is a sad state of affairs and doesn't happen in many other cultures. In other cultures Mom and Dad live with the family as they age. Sometimes two or three generations all live under the same roof or in very close proximity to each other. Mom and Dad matter, they are wanted and appreciated, not...

Read More ›