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Author: MJ Klimenko

STOP DREAMING ABOUT MONEY AND START DREAMING ABOUT LIVING

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

“The effects of rampant materialism are, according to research, pretty damaging to the human psyche. An international survey of over 90,000 people published in the journal BMC Medicine found a direct correlation between wealth and depression. Wealthier countries recorded higher levels of mental illness, while citizens in poorer countries were happier and better adjusted.” From Ben Cohen, Why Wanting to Be Rich is a Form of Mental Illness, Huff Post, 04/12/2012                   It’s true. Sure money is great, and it will buy you lots of stuff, if you need more stuff. Of course you’ve already realized having more stuff is having to maintain it, clean it, store it, repair it, and so on.                   Did any of us ever really need that blender that sits on the counter top taking up space and gathering grease splatters? Yes, you made juice and all kinds of cool things for a week or two and now it just occupies a square of your kitchen counter and glares at you, since you just don’t have time to stop and actually put things into it and then, turn it on and then drink whatever it is and then clean the entire thing, blades...

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EFFECTIVE TREATMENT FOR DEPRESSION

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth

Exercise! Wait, hold on, don’t stop reading yet. Why? Because in double blind studies, exercise has been shown to be an effective treatment for depression. It isn’t just a way for your therapist to insure you’re not spending the day in bed. It really works. If you’ve been to therapy for depression, your therapist has probably advised you to exercise, you’ve nodded your head in agreement and many of you have gone home and done nothing.   So, what’s the problem? Depressed people don’t want to exercise. They’re depressed! A depressed person might have trouble getting up, getting dressed, and putting one foot in front of the other. That often feels like all the exercise a depressed person can tolerate. But it really does work, so now what?. This is what: it’s that old putting one foot in front of the other routine. Don’t think you have to join a gym or work out for an hour every day or go swimming or ride your bike five miles. Think about it this way: 1.   If you have stairs, walk up and down them when you don’t have to, beginning once a day and then increasing to five times a day....

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CATASTROPHIZING

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Life Stress, Personal Growth

Is a big word meaning making things big when they don't need to be. In other words, if your boss had something to say to you about a situation you need to change or a deadline you haven't met or something else, and you feel sick to your stomach and stay awake half the night, worrying that you're going to lose your job because of it, you're catastrophizing. You're predicting a catastrophe when there isn't one. You might not like that you've disappointed your boss but it's unlikely you're going to lose your job over it unless you've messed up in a lot of other ways as well. If you have a fight with your partner and you predict it's the end of the relationship, you're, yes, catastrophizing. If your child gets a bad report card grade and you punish that child because you fear that child will never get into college, you're.... Yes, you get the idea. It's kind of like what Jeff Foxworthy does with his, "You might be a redneck if..." scenarios. It goes like this: You're catastrophizing if: 1. You didn't get a pay raise so you see yourself as never being able to retire. 2....

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LEAVING THE DREAM

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth

When you wake up in the morning do you wish you didn't have to get out of bed, that you could just close your eyes and sleep because what's in front of you is less than pleasant, like getting ready for work, commuting, working, going home, eating, falling back into bed, to sleep and wake up to the same grind again? If so, it's important that you establish some kind of morning ritual that grounds you in the real world, nature, an animal, fresh air. Try leaving sweats and tennis shoes right next to your bed and taking a quick, fast walk around your block before you do anything else, roll out, throw on the sweats and go, it's fifteen minutes, or put a flower that has a scent, like a rose, in a vase in the room but away from the bed so you can stand up and put your nose into the alive aroma of nature, inhale deeply and exhale, thinking three positive thoughts to counteract the negative. Or make sure you have something you really like ready to eat and waiting for you in the kitchen so you'll be inspired to get up and move to the...

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TAKE TIME, MAKE TIME, SHIFT THOSE PRIORITIES

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Life Stress, Personal Growth, Seniors

It looks like summer is finally here so getting outside for a nice brisk walk in the morning is easier and pleasant. Get out and get that blood moving. It will affect your entire day. Just throw on some sweats and take a spin around the block, then next week another block and so on until part of your walking up routine is your walking routine. Do it before you do anything else. If you delay it in order to do "important" things first, you're much less likely to do it. If you have to get up a half an hour earlier, do it. The pay-off to your body and your sense of well being is worth it. Start your day by doing something good for yourself. Love yourself, take care of yourself, first. There's only one of you and you're worth it! You don't have time you say? Yes, I can hear the protests and groans. If you don't have a half an hour a day to take care of yourself, you're not making time and you're allowing the pressures of every day living take you away from what's really important. If you don't love yourself enough to take...

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INTUITION AND ABUSE

March 26, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Personal Growth, Relationships

Most people experience times when they believe they know what another person is thinking or feeling. Sometimes, you're doing what is called, "projecting." That is you are projecting what you think or feel onto the other person. And sometimes your intuition about a situation is accurate. If what you're attributing to the other person is important, IE. "You're mad at me," it's important to find a way to inquire about it without sounding confrontational or defensive. You can't have good communication skills if you walk around in the world believing you know when, in fact, you might or you might not. An interesting thing about adults who were abused as children, whether emotional or physical, is that they tend to be more intuitive than the general population. That doesn't mean they shouldn't check it out with the other person because it could still be projection or just plain false. It does mean that very often an adult abused as a child can walk into a room and accurately report who is having a good time, who is pretending to have a good time, who is angry, sad, and so on. Adults abused as children are better at "reading" other people...

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