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Author: MJ Klimenko

SUFFERING

April 30, 2014
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| Categories: Addictions, Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships, Seniors, Transitions, Trauma

“The foundation of all mental illness is the avoidance of legitimate suffering.” -Carl Jung No one who is suffering wants to be told that their suffering is legitimate suffering. Mentally Healthy people want the suffering to stop, want to return to a mental place where they are no longer suffering. If you are looking for a sign or a guide, this post will help you. That makes sense. Emotional suffering can be just as awful as physical suffering. I can tell someone that their suffering won’t last, that even if they do nothing a better day will come or, at the very least, they will grow and learn new ways to be that are more rewarding  but no one has ever skipped out of my office praising the virtues of suffering no matter what I say to them. Still, Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, made a good point with his statement. Suffering is part of the human condition. No one escapes suffering. The question is what is legitimate suffering? Here’s a partial list: 1. You lost a loved one to death, divorce, or illness. 2. You lost something you valued, a job, a home, a pet. 3. You...

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FOR DADS AND MOMS

April 17, 2014
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| Categories: Families, Parenting/Children, Relationships

This article is about a wonderful gift a father can give his child. It's also a wonderful gift a mother can give her child. Parents model adult behavior for their children. They also model what loving someone is about: caring, consideration, communication, tolerance. If a child doesn't have good role models the child won't know what is acceptable and unacceptable, won't have anything to fall back on when navigating a relationship that, like all relationships, hits a difficult patch. Read this article for insight and  inspiration. http://www.families.com/blog/the-best-gift-a-father-can-give-his-child  

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INFORMATIVE ARTICLE FOR PARENTS of TEENAGE GIRLS

April 3, 2014
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| Categories: Families, Life Stress, Parenting/Children, Transitions

In general parents of teenage girls report frustration at the seemingly unpredictable and wildly fluctuating emotions their daughters exhibit. Sometimes the behavior is extreme and sometimes mild but most parents of teen girls will say that their daughters, in contrast to their teenage boys, spend a lot more time involved with emotional interactions with peers, girlfriends, boyfriends, what to do, what not to do, the dreadful breakup or the nerve of that girl trying to act like she's better and so on. And when a parent attempts to talk to their daughter about something seemingly dramatic taking place in her life, to help her make sense of it all or work through something, the parent is often rejected or told that "they just don't get it," exit to the bedroom, shut door, play loud music, talk on phone, ignore parent as much as possible until crisis passes at which point daughter who seemed to be on the brink of despair emerges smiling and talkative until the next time. This scientific article explains what's going on with the developing girl's brain during adolescence: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/news/science-news/2009/brain-emotion-circuit-sparks-as-teen-girls-size-up-peers.shtml

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NOT A GOOD DATE?

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Families, Seniors, Transitions

Dear MJ, My friend likes to take the bus trips to Reno for a fun time out. We live in an assisted living complex so I like to get out too but I don’t always like to go on bus trips, especially when it’s always to go gambling and have a few drinks. I wouldn’t mind going with her sometimes but when I ask her to do other things with me she says she’s too busy. Is she really my friend? What should I do? Sincerely, Not a Good Date Dear Not a Good Date, You’re probably are a good date, and I bet you’re a lot of fun to be with on the bus trips, otherwise she wouldn’t keep asking you. In any friendship, the hardest thing to do is talk about things that might make you or the other person uncomfortable. You need to change the way you think about “uncomfortable situations” and realize that “fact finding” conversations don’t have to be uncomfortable at all. First, it’s important that you come up with more than one thing you like to do so you can offer your friend a “menu” of other fun activities. Maybe you like longer trips...

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FINDING YOUR VOICE AS YOU AGE

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Aging, Depression, Seniors, Transitions

Of course, finding your voice at any age is great, as many people are too focused on what other people think and not what they feel or think. For seniors, however, finding one's voice is especially critical because so many assumptions are made about seniors today. Here are some common one: All seniors prefer to be with their families over all other activities. All seniors have nothing to talk about but their aches an pains. Seniors have given up being sexual. Seniors are grateful for the things others take them to or invite them to and are happy with that. Seniors don't know how to flirt, be silly, joke around, dream about the future, have great desire and passions. These are just a few of them. I could list many more. We, as seniors, need to find a collective voice that tells this country who we really are, not just tax phobic, insulated, half bathed elderly people who hope someone will invite them somewhere to get their minds off of worrying about their health. We were young once and have a lot to share, we have stories about the history of this country, about the history of where we live,...

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