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Category: Anxiety

TOO YOUNG TO KNOW

July 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

That extremely thin women weren't considered beautiful or fashionable, even by the fashion world, until a model named Twiggy became very popular in the 1960s. The majority of women in this country were born after 1950 so they're too young to know the history of "skinny vs. fat." The advent of skinny being sexy hadn't existed before Twiggy. I know because my nickname in high school was "Broom." No one thought I was attractive. I think I paid my first date to take me to a high school dance or maybe I blackmailed my brother into doing it.  Everyone thought I was too skinny. Then came Twiggy and she made skinny beautiful. So, without doing a thing I went from being "Broom" and unattractively skinny to an overnight sensation (O.K. That's an exaggeration but you get my point). With a flip of the advertising industry I could stop being embarrassed and start being cool, which, it turned out wasn't that much fun anyway. In the 1950s Marilyn Monroe had the "ideal" body and was considered one of the sexiest women on the planet. Marilyn was a size fourteen. Today she would be considered chubby or even fat. Here is a...

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DEPRESSION, WHAT IT IS, WHAT NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS IT

July 2, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Parenting/Children, Personal Growth, Relationships, Seniors, Transitions, Trauma

Here is a link to a blog article about depression and what well intentioned people shouldn't say to anyone who is depressed. The interesting thing about what not to say is that most people will be tempted to say at least one of the eleven listed because they seem so, well, helpful or distracting or humorous. None of these eleven statements are helpful to people suffering from depression. Depression can be situational or a person may have a genetic predisposition for depression and, in either case, there are better things to do. For one, encouraging a depressed person to share with you what they're feeling then listening and responding with empathic statements like, "It sounds like you're having a hard time right now," or "Tell me how you're feeling so I can try to understand." Taking the time to listen without comparing what they're saying to what you feel or your Aunt Gertrude feels can be very comforting and even helpful to a depressed person. Here's the link to what not to say: www.medicalbillingandcoding.org/blog/11-things-you-should-never-say-to-someone-with-depression  

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SUFFERING

April 30, 2014
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| Categories: Addictions, Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships, Seniors, Transitions, Trauma

“The foundation of all mental illness is the avoidance of legitimate suffering.” -Carl Jung No one who is suffering wants to be told that their suffering is legitimate suffering. Mentally Healthy people want the suffering to stop, want to return to a mental place where they are no longer suffering. If you are looking for a sign or a guide, this post will help you. That makes sense. Emotional suffering can be just as awful as physical suffering. I can tell someone that their suffering won’t last, that even if they do nothing a better day will come or, at the very least, they will grow and learn new ways to be that are more rewarding  but no one has ever skipped out of my office praising the virtues of suffering no matter what I say to them. Still, Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, made a good point with his statement. Suffering is part of the human condition. No one escapes suffering. The question is what is legitimate suffering? Here’s a partial list: 1. You lost a loved one to death, divorce, or illness. 2. You lost something you valued, a job, a home, a pet. 3. You...

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NOT A GOOD DATE?

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Families, Seniors, Transitions

Dear MJ, My friend likes to take the bus trips to Reno for a fun time out. We live in an assisted living complex so I like to get out too but I don’t always like to go on bus trips, especially when it’s always to go gambling and have a few drinks. I wouldn’t mind going with her sometimes but when I ask her to do other things with me she says she’s too busy. Is she really my friend? What should I do? Sincerely, Not a Good Date Dear Not a Good Date, You’re probably are a good date, and I bet you’re a lot of fun to be with on the bus trips, otherwise she wouldn’t keep asking you. In any friendship, the hardest thing to do is talk about things that might make you or the other person uncomfortable. You need to change the way you think about “uncomfortable situations” and realize that “fact finding” conversations don’t have to be uncomfortable at all. First, it’s important that you come up with more than one thing you like to do so you can offer your friend a “menu” of other fun activities. Maybe you like longer trips...

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ANXIETY

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety

When you were a kid did you ever suddenly wonder how your body was breathing then suddenly feel your chest tighten and think that maybe you couldn't or wouldn't keep breathing? O.K. I was considered strange by my brothers, I did and you didn't, but it does illustrate a point I'd like to make. The point being that we do so many things naturally until we begin to think about it. Now thinking, most of the time, is a good thing. But thinking about whether or not you have cancer or whether or not you can sleep or whether or not you can breathe, only increases anxiety and that's what happens in a panic attack. Something triggers the attack and it could be anything. Let's say your parents got a divorce when you were a kid and you didn't know who you were going to live with, whether or not it was your fault, whether or not your parents were still going to love you and so on. Now, grow yourself up about thirty years and begin having a hard time at work, your boss is too tough on you, making new demands on you, you're not sure whether or...

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UNFORTUNATELY

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Life Stress, Personal Growth

Before we can react in a way that gives us the best chance of getting what we want from any interaction, we need to know what's really going on. For instance, you manage to make your way through a telephone tree that seems as if it was put together by a six year old. You only had ten minutes and now you have six or seven left. You finally get a live person and what you want to know is whether or not your insurance is due or your payment was received. The person asks you for your last name, date of birth, last four numbers of your social, zip code, city, dog's name, mother's name, brother's address, well maybe not all that but that's what it feels like and you say it all. They say you SHOULD have been sent that information and they can't give you that information anyway because you've called the wrong department. They sound angry, they are curt, they don't offer to transfer your call. They tell you in a very abrupt way that you have to call this other department, click. Then you are staring at a phone that doesn't have a person on...

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