If you’re not mean to your partner it’s up to her to make herself happy. You can’t make another person happy. It’s not the same as giving a gift or a surprise birthday party, which do make people happy in the moment. I’m talking about another adult who is chronically unhappy. You say, “Nice day”. They say, “What did you mean by that?” Go on about your day. Happiness with life in general is up to each of us to give ourselves.
How do I give myself happiness? You’re thinking. We’ve all heard from all kinds of sources that we should live in the moment, practice mindfulness, forgive others, meditate, live in the present not the past or the future. And now be aware that whomever wrote or said those things made themselves happy by doing them. One or more of those things may make you happy too or none of them are what you need to make yourself happy so don’t do them. They make someone else happy not you.
Make yourself happy by considering what you, yes; you actually want to do when you’re not working to pay for doing more of it. Forget about what you should do. Forget about what other people might say or think about you. Those that will criticize or be negative toward you or disapprove of you just aren’t bothering with making themselves happy and they’re not (happy).
The truth is only miserable people care about what other people are doing. Since you’re not going to be a miserable person you have to ask yourself what makes you happy and don’t analyze it. Whatever pops into your mind first is what you should do or find some time to do, whether it’s walking, golfing, going to a movie, doing your laundry, painting or writing or gardening or inventing or jumping out of an airplane and so on.
You have a right to happiness and the only person who can make you happy over the long haul is yourself. What just popped into your mind?