HOLIDAY BLUES OR SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER?

This is the time of year when it gets dark earlier and the skies are gray and it's raining or snowing or it's freezing outside or any combination of these. During and after the holidays many people feel depressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes it's because they're lonely and wish they had people to spend the holidays with and sometimes it's because people are trying to accomplish a lot while they continue to tend to their already busy schedule, trying to buy presents on a budget for everyone they would like to give a gift to or because, in their enthusiasm, they put way too much on their credit cards and now they're trying to figure out how to get them paid along with the bills. So there there are factors like weather, holidays, and money that do create stress and sometimes depression. However, there is another type of depression that occurs during winter months. It's caused by having fewer daylight hours and fewer sunny hours. This condition is referred to as SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder. I'm going to put a paragraph in this article that I've quoted from a Medscape article about this type of depression and also give credit...

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HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ALCOHOLIC AND A SOCIAL DRINKER

This might seem like a no brainer but it really isn't. There are plenty of functional alcoholics walking around looking like they're social drinkers. Why should you care you ask? You should care because you don't want him to be your baby's father or mother, don't want him to be the man/woman you fall in love with, don't want to waste days, months, years to discover you've invested in a relationship where the next drink is more important than you are, don't want to get used or abused, don't want to go broke trying to fix someone. Enough? O.K. Here's how you can tell the difference between an alcoholic and a social drinker: As opposed to a social drinker an alcoholic 1. Wouldn't consider leaving half a glass of wine on the table, they'd drink up and order another or plan to go somewhere else that drinks are being served. 2. Thinks every party, birthday (even for the three year old), picnic, walk, event, lunch, dinner (and breakfast but you won't know), movie, sporting event live or on TV and just about every other activity is a time alcohol should be served and not a little but a lot. 3....

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SEVEN REASONS WHY SOBER IS SEXY

We've all been in situations where someone around us is drunk or high on drugs, prescription or illegal, and we have to listen to them or drive them somewhere or they're in our house and we can't get away and they are just stupid and obnoxious. Don't you just love it when someone whose brain is clearly not firing on all pistons is telling  you in a too loud voice about something they have just become the world's expert on or, even better, when you happen to be the recipient of why their lives are so horrible, their luck so bad, their sadness so unbearable that they have to slur their words and drink more just so you'll understand and maybe even start crying, the blubbering kind of crying while they tell you because they know you really want to know? Oh, and then there are the ones who think they're so sexy they just can't believe their good fortune at being the sexiest woman or man at the party or in the bar or restaurant or anywhere they think it's perfectly appropriate to get up close and personal, bad breath and all, to let you know just what they...

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WHAT ABOUT HER?

In my last blog I wrote about some things women do that, although they seem nice, have more to do with dependency and smothering than loving. I imagined some women reading the article and thinking, “Well, I wouldn’t be so clingy if I knew he actually loved me.” It’s a fair statement for many women. I’m talking about the “chicken and egg” cycle where he wants sex and she doesn’t and she wants conversation and he doesn’t and who knows who did what to whom first? This blog is an article about what he does that turns her off and a few things he can do to turn her on. A common complaint I hear from men in my office is that they had a good sexual relationship with their wife before they got married or before they had children and now they resent feeling like they have to beg for sex or stand on their heads while they mow the lawn before she feels ready. They really don’t understand how they’ve contributed to the problem. Here you go guys. Think about this list before you dismiss it as being dumb or a bunch of psychobabble. It’s likely that, making...

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HOW CAN BEING REALLY NICE DRIVE A MAN AWAY?

Well there’s nice and then there’s too nice. We should all be nice people meaning polite, sensitive to others, helpful when we can. Some women, hoping to get or keep a man, take it too far. Here’s a partial list of the too nice behaviors that come to mind: 1. You hate football but pretend you like it and act really excited about a game whether it’s in your home or one of his friends has invited you to their home. You make lots of little snacks, fill the fridge with beer or whatever you think they like to drink and are so cheerful it appears that you may have had a lobotomy in the past twenty-four hours. You greet each one of his friends and partners, if they have them; with so much enthusiasm it’s clear you’re faking it. In fact, you’re so faking it that it’s obvious and you're such a great cheerleader you drink too much, talk too much, cheer too loud, because you believe this is going to make him love you more. Actually it’s pretty repulsive behavior because you’re taking up all of the air in the room. It would be better if you said...

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A MAJOR REASON PEOPLE DON’T GET WHAT THEY WANT

I hear about this every day in my practice. A wife wishes her husband would take her somewhere without the kids, a husband wishes his wife would get up and have a cup of coffee with him before he leaves for work. A woman or man is very unhappy with their job yet they stay, nose to the grindstone, just waiting for the weekend. In all of these cases and many more, the major reason people don’t get what they want is because they don’t believe in themselves. They often think they do but when I review with them what they do to get those needs met I’m always struck by how easily people throw in the towel, give up, say it can’t happen. That’s because the conscious part of their mind tells them they are worth it because the conscious mind knows that’s the right answer but somewhere buried in the subconscious mind is an old message, from a parent or a teacher or a school peer or someone else they were exposed to early in life who told them that they weren’t good enough, that they should accept what they can get because they’re not really good enough,...

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