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Category: Life Stress

CATASTROPHIZING

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Life Stress, Personal Growth

Is a big word meaning making things big when they don't need to be. In other words, if your boss had something to say to you about a situation you need to change or a deadline you haven't met or something else, and you feel sick to your stomach and stay awake half the night, worrying that you're going to lose your job because of it, you're catastrophizing. You're predicting a catastrophe when there isn't one. You might not like that you've disappointed your boss but it's unlikely you're going to lose your job over it unless you've messed up in a lot of other ways as well. If you have a fight with your partner and you predict it's the end of the relationship, you're, yes, catastrophizing. If your child gets a bad report card grade and you punish that child because you fear that child will never get into college, you're.... Yes, you get the idea. It's kind of like what Jeff Foxworthy does with his, "You might be a redneck if..." scenarios. It goes like this: You're catastrophizing if: 1. You didn't get a pay raise so you see yourself as never being able to retire. 2....

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LEAVING THE DREAM

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth

When you wake up in the morning do you wish you didn't have to get out of bed, that you could just close your eyes and sleep because what's in front of you is less than pleasant, like getting ready for work, commuting, working, going home, eating, falling back into bed, to sleep and wake up to the same grind again? If so, it's important that you establish some kind of morning ritual that grounds you in the real world, nature, an animal, fresh air. Try leaving sweats and tennis shoes right next to your bed and taking a quick, fast walk around your block before you do anything else, roll out, throw on the sweats and go, it's fifteen minutes, or put a flower that has a scent, like a rose, in a vase in the room but away from the bed so you can stand up and put your nose into the alive aroma of nature, inhale deeply and exhale, thinking three positive thoughts to counteract the negative. Or make sure you have something you really like ready to eat and waiting for you in the kitchen so you'll be inspired to get up and move to the...

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TAKE TIME, MAKE TIME, SHIFT THOSE PRIORITIES

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Life Stress, Personal Growth, Seniors

It looks like summer is finally here so getting outside for a nice brisk walk in the morning is easier and pleasant. Get out and get that blood moving. It will affect your entire day. Just throw on some sweats and take a spin around the block, then next week another block and so on until part of your walking up routine is your walking routine. Do it before you do anything else. If you delay it in order to do "important" things first, you're much less likely to do it. If you have to get up a half an hour earlier, do it. The pay-off to your body and your sense of well being is worth it. Start your day by doing something good for yourself. Love yourself, take care of yourself, first. There's only one of you and you're worth it! You don't have time you say? Yes, I can hear the protests and groans. If you don't have a half an hour a day to take care of yourself, you're not making time and you're allowing the pressures of every day living take you away from what's really important. If you don't love yourself enough to take...

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WHEN TO STAY AND WHEN TO GO

March 26, 2014
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| Categories: Families, Life Stress, Parenting/Children, Personal Growth, Relationships

It’s easy to say when to leave a relationship. Leave if you’re being abused physically or if you’re being abused verbally or psychologically and your partner won’t stop or agree to counseling. If your partner cheats on you and refuses to go to counseling, leave. If your partner has any kind of addiction, drugs, alcohol, gambling, Internet porn you don’t agree to, spending money he/she doesn’t have until the family can’t pay bills, and refuses to seek treatment, or sometimes refuses to even admit there’s a problem, you should leave because, unless someone wants to change, and then actively seeks some sort of support to create change like individual counseling, group therapy, AA, NA, or any other identified form of treatment, it’s unlikely they’ll change. Will power is seldom, if ever, enough to create lasting change. If your partner lies to you repeatedly, not white lies but big lies, for example, “I went to work today,” when he/she actually got fired the week before or “I’m going to my mother’s house,” and he/she doesn’t, instead going somewhere else, which they may or may not deny when you confront them, you should leave if there’s either an unwillingness to admit there’s...

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GETTING UP OR NOT

March 26, 2014
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| Categories: Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

O.K. It's Saturday morning. You wake up the sun is shining or not, it's raining or not, but you're warm, safe, and there isn't anything you have to do in the next two hours so you don't have to jump up and start hustling toward a work day like most of you do during the week. One would think it would be a time of relaxation, contemplation, or to make plans to do something enjoyable, and it is for some of you. For others, it's the time when depression, despair and confusion reign. To those people: If you're in a relationship, you wonder why you stay and if you're not, you're wondering if you ever will find that special person. If you work forty or more hours a week, you wonder if there's an end to this toiling away just to pay the rent, or maybe you don't have a job and haven't been able to find one. Maybe you have a job but your partner doesn't and you're tired of carrying the load, maybe it's reversed and your partner is tired of carrying the load. Maybe you're old and facing the unbearably sad truth that this culture doesn't value...

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POSITIVE EMOTIONS

March 26, 2014
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| Categories: Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Seniors

Positive emotions in early life and longevity: findings from the nun study. Danner DD, Snowdon DA, Friesen WV. Source: Department of Preventive Medicine and Sanders-Brown Center on Aging, College of Medicine, University of Kentucky, Lexington 40536-0230, USA. [email protected] Abstract Handwritten autobiographies from 180 Catholic nuns, composed when participants were a mean age of 22 years, were scored for emotional content and related to survival during ages 75 to 95. A strong inverse association was found between positive emotional content in these writings and risk of mortality in late life (p < .001). As the quartile ranking of positive emotion in early life increased, there was a stepwise decrease in risk of mortality resulting in a 2.5-fold difference between the lowest and highest quartiles. Positive emotional content in early-life autobiographies was strongly associated with longevity 6 decades later. Underlying mechanisms of balanced emotional states are discussed. PMID: 11374751 OK, now that you've finished with all the nun jokes and/or Catholic jokes, think about this: It means you could live longer, literally, by having a positive attitude about your life. I've never ascribed to the "airy fairy" approach to living so I don't sweep negative energy out of my office by burning...

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