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Category: Life Stress

FEELING EMPTY

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth

Our feelings are very important, even negative feelings, because they tell us something about ourselves. Just like a pain in our foot indicates there's something wrong with our foot, and we need to pay attention to it or we could injure it further, negative emotions are signals to us to pay attention. Feeling empty isn't the same as feeling lonely although it's a kissing cousin and could be there as well. Feeling empty is how a person can feel even when they're in a relationship, one they like. Drinking or using drugs might fix that feeling in the short term but in the long term it will only make the feeling worse. Schools today have had to stop emphasizing the arts because of "No Child Left Behind." Teachers are forced to teach for the tests and cannot allow time for very much creative work. So, children aren't learning how to self-soothe by pursuing individual creative interests. Being absorbed in painting, writing, photography, and many other types of creative endeavors allows the individual time to separate from the external world and become completely absorbed in what they're doing, following their own noses, so to speak. Shopping doesn't count, going to lunch...

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UNFORTUNATELY

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Life Stress, Personal Growth

Before we can react in a way that gives us the best chance of getting what we want from any interaction, we need to know what's really going on. For instance, you manage to make your way through a telephone tree that seems as if it was put together by a six year old. You only had ten minutes and now you have six or seven left. You finally get a live person and what you want to know is whether or not your insurance is due or your payment was received. The person asks you for your last name, date of birth, last four numbers of your social, zip code, city, dog's name, mother's name, brother's address, well maybe not all that but that's what it feels like and you say it all. They say you SHOULD have been sent that information and they can't give you that information anyway because you've called the wrong department. They sound angry, they are curt, they don't offer to transfer your call. They tell you in a very abrupt way that you have to call this other department, click. Then you are staring at a phone that doesn't have a person on...

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A DIFFERENT WAY TO LOOK AT CHANGE

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

Most people in relationships will try to change if their partner nags, yells, threatens divorce, or refuses to speak for a week. They'll change for a short time but they won't really change because they resent you and they resent how mean you are to them. They don't think of what they could/should be doing to foster a good relationship. That would require taking responsibility for the problem which they can't do because they, in my example, don't have a problem. You have the problem. You can change yourself. A different way to look at change is to think of your partner as someone who wants to please you (even if you don't believe it) and approach your partner as if he/she were your best friend. Isn't it interesting how nice we are to friends and how rudely we can behave toward our partner because we have rationalized to ourselves that they deserve it. Then think of something you can offer your partner by way of change. For instance, if you are very unhappy about your partner turning into a couch potato to watch ball games all day on Sundays, and you feel lonely and uncared for, try offering something...

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WHY DIETS DON’T WORK

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Life Stress, Personal Growth

O.K. You've heard it, read it, said it to yourself, yet you continue to do it, so I'll tell you again, just in case you didn't believe it: DIETS DON'T WORK! That's not to say they won't work for a few weeks, months, or even a year or two but eventually they don't work and the dieter feels frustrated and like a failure. So why do people continue to put themselves on diets? I think it's because they don't know what else to do. We live in a culture that is fixated on physical beauty for women and for men. A desirable body size in this culture isn't the body size many people inherited. If everyone in your family is big boned and leans toward the plump side, you might find that's your body type as well. And haven't we all heard about "six pack abs?" Admittedly men seem to be more visual than women but women have their biases as well. So people who find themselves not fitting into the "beautiful people" category are often not happy with themselves. And an odd thing happens to people when they don't like their body size. They often use food to make...

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STOP DREAMING ABOUT MONEY AND START DREAMING ABOUT LIVING

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

“The effects of rampant materialism are, according to research, pretty damaging to the human psyche. An international survey of over 90,000 people published in the journal BMC Medicine found a direct correlation between wealth and depression. Wealthier countries recorded higher levels of mental illness, while citizens in poorer countries were happier and better adjusted.” From Ben Cohen, Why Wanting to Be Rich is a Form of Mental Illness, Huff Post, 04/12/2012                   It’s true. Sure money is great, and it will buy you lots of stuff, if you need more stuff. Of course you’ve already realized having more stuff is having to maintain it, clean it, store it, repair it, and so on.                   Did any of us ever really need that blender that sits on the counter top taking up space and gathering grease splatters? Yes, you made juice and all kinds of cool things for a week or two and now it just occupies a square of your kitchen counter and glares at you, since you just don’t have time to stop and actually put things into it and then, turn it on and then drink whatever it is and then clean the entire thing, blades...

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EFFECTIVE TREATMENT FOR DEPRESSION

March 31, 2014
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| Categories: Aging, Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth

Exercise! Wait, hold on, don’t stop reading yet. Why? Because in double blind studies, exercise has been shown to be an effective treatment for depression. It isn’t just a way for your therapist to insure you’re not spending the day in bed. It really works. If you’ve been to therapy for depression, your therapist has probably advised you to exercise, you’ve nodded your head in agreement and many of you have gone home and done nothing.   So, what’s the problem? Depressed people don’t want to exercise. They’re depressed! A depressed person might have trouble getting up, getting dressed, and putting one foot in front of the other. That often feels like all the exercise a depressed person can tolerate. But it really does work, so now what?. This is what: it’s that old putting one foot in front of the other routine. Don’t think you have to join a gym or work out for an hour every day or go swimming or ride your bike five miles. Think about it this way: 1.   If you have stairs, walk up and down them when you don’t have to, beginning once a day and then increasing to five times a day....

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