About You Part Two, final

Please read yesterday's post first and then this second half:     you so you got punished for getting bad grades, and more but you get the drift, you were taught to hate yourself because, after all, would any of the loving people in their lives do anything to deliberately hurt them unless they were disgusting and not deserving of love. You, through no fault of your own, became a self-hater and self-haters project the self-hate out onto other people and then believe that others find you disgusting so you can find them disgusting back and them’s fighting words. If we could create a sea of mothers who, in the same decade, gave birth to children that they then protected and loved and nurtured, we could turn the world around. Those that are loved learn to love themselves and those that love themselves are able to love others.

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Social Phobia or I Won’t Have Anything to Say.

Do you sometimes dread going somewhere because "you won't know what to say". This can be any type of situation from family gatherings to office meetings. You know once you begin talking to people you're fine and even enjoy yourself. The first sentence or two is jumping into a pool filled with icy mountain runoff, so cold it's painful. Once you begin paddling around, using your arms and legs you discover you're fine. The same process applies to social phobia. Jump in and start swimming. Here is a page of 101 conversation starters. Print out a "cheat sheet" before you go and choose one or two to memorize so you'll find it quite easy, with a little practice, to go wherever you want to go, without anxiety about how to begin a conversation. http://www.towerofpower.com.au/101-conversation-starters  

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A Free Benefit? Really?

Yes, according to scientific data there is one thing we can do that has many positive benefits and doesn't cost a dime. Unfortunately, many people don't take even fifteen minutes a day to do it. Yes, you're busy, yes it's boring (maybe), yes to all the reasons why it just doesn't happen in your life. Read this and hopefully it will change your mind.   https://qz.com/592569/a-neuroscientist-says-theres-a-powerful-benefit-to-exercise-that-is-rarely-discussed/  

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Do You Remember Your Life? Probably Not.

“When you feel happy, really happy, it somehow seems that you’ve always been happy and that you’ll always be happy. The same is often true when you feel sad, or lonely, or depressed, or broke, or sick, or scared. Something, perhaps, to remember.” —Notes From The Universe It's bad enough to feel depressed, anxious, insecure, jealous, fearful, without believing you've been this way more often than not during your lifetime. How often has someone told you they were born to be unhappy or to have problems or some version of those that indicate the person's perception of themselves and their lives is very negative? With few exceptions they're probably wrong. Science and brain imaging are now able to prove that people will remember negative and unhappy events far more than they will remember happy or pleasant things. Your life may not have unfolded the way you remember it. In fact, it's likely that it didn't because you remember the bad and aren't able to retrieve the good from your past. I've witnessed this phenomenon many times over my years as a psychotherapist. A client comes in having had a negative experience the previous week and during their session they will...

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Need Sleep Now?

A common sign of depression is sleep disturbance, not being able to fall asleep as well as waking up one or several times during the night or waking up before you are ready to wake up. It's also a common sign of a new baby in the house, worrying about something, feeling stressed and anxious, and various other things similar to what I've listed. This exercise is excellent although it will take some practice and patience. You can't do it once or twice and give up because you don't think it's going to work. This article explains why it will work for just about everything except someone snoring very loudly right next to you or living within feet of  train tracks and it's a much better solution than drugs that can be addicting like Ambien. Now, if your doctor prescribes Ambien for you please take it. You should do what your medical doctor tells you to do. However, you might also give this exercise a try and see how it goes. Good sleep is essential for good mental health. If you aren't getting enough sleep your symptoms will likely increase, not decrease, something you should avoid if at all possible....

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