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Category: Personal Growth

When Not to Marry

January 5, 2017
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| Categories: Personal Growth, Relationships

For over twenty-six years I've counseled many couples whose marriage was in trouble. By the time they get to my office they're a step away from a lawyer but have agreed to try counseling first. Many couples just need to be taught how to fight fair or to negotiate something in the relationship that isn't working such as how much sex is enough? However sometimes two people shouldn't have married each other and a divorce is a good solution. It's rare but it happens. This is an excellent article about when not to marry: "Review your motivation for marriage before you wed to help you avoid making these mistakes. " http://www.dummies.com/relationships/marriage/knowing-when-not-to-marry/

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Social Anxiety Disorder

January 2, 2017
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

Wikipedia has a terrific article about social anxiety disorder or SAD. It explains everything you would want to know if you think that might be something you or someone close to you has. "Social anxiety disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia, is an anxiety disorder characterized by a significant amount of fear in one or more social situations causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder

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How to Criticize Someone Without Hurting Their Feelings

December 31, 2016
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| Categories: Families, Personal Growth, Relationships

In all of the years I've worked as a psychotherapist this is one issue that cuts across sexes, age, status, wealth and just about everything else. If you "stuff" something, meaning you don't tell the other person what you're thinking or feeling for fear of upsetting them, there will eventually be some fairly serious consequences to you like major depression or anxiety, or drinking too much or self-soothing with food, etc. or to the other person in the form of out of proportion anger or an emotional blowup from you. Something that might have been a manageable issue if was handled right away gets "stuffed" and over time more and more unsaid issues combine into a not very pretty picture. The point being that not being able to say what you think to another person because you're afraid to hurt them or make them mad will have consequences to you and to them. Most people just don't want to hurt the other person's feelings, an admirable idea, and they don't know how to say something critical in a way that the other person will hear without getting upset. This is an interesting article containing tips about how to criticize in...

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