Do You Remember Your Life? Probably Not.

“When you feel happy, really happy, it somehow seems that you’ve always been happy and that you’ll always be happy. The same is often true when you feel sad, or lonely, or depressed, or broke, or sick, or scared. Something, perhaps, to remember.” —Notes From The Universe It's bad enough to feel depressed, anxious, insecure, jealous, fearful, without believing you've been this way more often than not during your lifetime. How often has someone told you they were born to be unhappy or to have problems or some version of those that indicate the person's perception of themselves and their lives is very negative? With few exceptions they're probably wrong. Science and brain imaging are now able to prove that people will remember negative and unhappy events far more than they will remember happy or pleasant things. Your life may not have unfolded the way you remember it. In fact, it's likely that it didn't because you remember the bad and aren't able to retrieve the good from your past. I've witnessed this phenomenon many times over my years as a psychotherapist. A client comes in having had a negative experience the previous week and during their session they will...

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Introverts and Extroverts Illustrated

Many people believe extroverts are fun, outgoing people and introverts prefer living in the wilderness. Not so. Introverts are just as friendly and happy to interact. They just need more down time than an extrovert. Here are some illustrations comparing introverts and extroverts. www.quietrev.com/6-illustrations-that-show-what-its-like-in-an-introverts-head

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Couples, Alone and Together Time

It isn't healthy for two people to spend every waking moment together when they're in a relationship. That said, either party going out to bars with friends is a formula for disaster. If you want to spend time with friends don't do things that involve unfamiliar members of the other sex unless you're having a tooth extracted.. What I mean by unfamiliar members of the opposite or, if you're gay, unfamiliar same sex people that your partner knows nothing about. For instance, if you're a guy, it isn't O.K. to meet one of your female coworkers for lunch or anything else on a non-work day unless you've made a point to introduce that person to your partner first. It doesn't have to be just before lunch and then telling your partner to get lost. It can be any time but it has to happen so your partner doesn't feel threatened. No one in a relationship wants to imagine their partner out with an unfamiliar member of the opposite or same sex, depending on sexual preference, on a day off. It only takes a minute to arrange to introduce your partner to your friend and then it shouldn't feel threatening to...

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The Dumb Fight

This article reveals what might be behind some seemingly dumb arguments with your partner. If you're been in a relationship long enough to get past the honeymoon phase you will find yourself fighting, sometime once in a great while and sometimes often, over what you know, if you were being honest with yourself, is insignificant and petty. Yet, at the time you're both angry and standing your ground.That there's something deeper, more meaningful under the dumb fight is reassuring (that you're not a nit picker) and the underneath subject does have meaning. You will both benefit by looking at what you're really fighting about. Sometimes a person is embarrassed to say what's really going on or has been stuffing some other significant issue, unwilling to talk about it and then the dumb fight breaks out. Read some examples here of the dumb fight and what's underneath the dumb fight. http://www.alternet.org/10-dumb-couple-fights-and-what-they-might-be-really-about

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When Not to Marry

For over twenty-six years I've counseled many couples whose marriage was in trouble. By the time they get to my office they're a step away from a lawyer but have agreed to try counseling first. Many couples just need to be taught how to fight fair or to negotiate something in the relationship that isn't working such as how much sex is enough? However sometimes two people shouldn't have married each other and a divorce is a good solution. It's rare but it happens. This is an excellent article about when not to marry: "Review your motivation for marriage before you wed to help you avoid making these mistakes. " http://www.dummies.com/relationships/marriage/knowing-when-not-to-marry/

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