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Category: Life Stress

HOLIDAY BLUES OR SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER?

January 6, 2015
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress

This is the time of year when it gets dark earlier and the skies are gray and it's raining or snowing or it's freezing outside or any combination of these. During and after the holidays many people feel depressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes it's because they're lonely and wish they had people to spend the holidays with and sometimes it's because people are trying to accomplish a lot while they continue to tend to their already busy schedule, trying to buy presents on a budget for everyone they would like to give a gift to or because, in their enthusiasm, they put way too much on their credit cards and now they're trying to figure out how to get them paid along with the bills. So there there are factors like weather, holidays, and money that do create stress and sometimes depression. However, there is another type of depression that occurs during winter months. It's caused by having fewer daylight hours and fewer sunny hours. This condition is referred to as SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder. I'm going to put a paragraph in this article that I've quoted from a Medscape article about this type of depression and also give credit...

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HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ALCOHOLIC AND A SOCIAL DRINKER

November 20, 2014
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| Categories: Addictions, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

This might seem like a no brainer but it really isn't. There are plenty of functional alcoholics walking around looking like they're social drinkers. Why should you care you ask? You should care because you don't want him to be your baby's father or mother, don't want him to be the man/woman you fall in love with, don't want to waste days, months, years to discover you've invested in a relationship where the next drink is more important than you are, don't want to get used or abused, don't want to go broke trying to fix someone. Enough? O.K. Here's how you can tell the difference between an alcoholic and a social drinker: As opposed to a social drinker an alcoholic 1. Wouldn't consider leaving half a glass of wine on the table, they'd drink up and order another or plan to go somewhere else that drinks are being served. 2. Thinks every party, birthday (even for the three year old), picnic, walk, event, lunch, dinner (and breakfast but you won't know), movie, sporting event live or on TV and just about every other activity is a time alcohol should be served and not a little but a lot. 3....

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WHAT ABOUT HER?

October 8, 2014
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| Categories: Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

In my last blog I wrote about some things women do that, although they seem nice, have more to do with dependency and smothering than loving. I imagined some women reading the article and thinking, “Well, I wouldn’t be so clingy if I knew he actually loved me.” It’s a fair statement for many women. I’m talking about the “chicken and egg” cycle where he wants sex and she doesn’t and she wants conversation and he doesn’t and who knows who did what to whom first? This blog is an article about what he does that turns her off and a few things he can do to turn her on. A common complaint I hear from men in my office is that they had a good sexual relationship with their wife before they got married or before they had children and now they resent feeling like they have to beg for sex or stand on their heads while they mow the lawn before she feels ready. They really don’t understand how they’ve contributed to the problem. Here you go guys. Think about this list before you dismiss it as being dumb or a bunch of psychobabble. It’s likely that, making...

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A MAJOR REASON PEOPLE DON’T GET WHAT THEY WANT

August 19, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships, Transitions

I hear about this every day in my practice. A wife wishes her husband would take her somewhere without the kids, a husband wishes his wife would get up and have a cup of coffee with him before he leaves for work. A woman or man is very unhappy with their job yet they stay, nose to the grindstone, just waiting for the weekend. In all of these cases and many more, the major reason people don’t get what they want is because they don’t believe in themselves. They often think they do but when I review with them what they do to get those needs met I’m always struck by how easily people throw in the towel, give up, say it can’t happen. That’s because the conscious part of their mind tells them they are worth it because the conscious mind knows that’s the right answer but somewhere buried in the subconscious mind is an old message, from a parent or a teacher or a school peer or someone else they were exposed to early in life who told them that they weren’t good enough, that they should accept what they can get because they’re not really good enough,...

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TOO YOUNG TO KNOW

July 31, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Personal Growth, Relationships

That extremely thin women weren't considered beautiful or fashionable, even by the fashion world, until a model named Twiggy became very popular in the 1960s. The majority of women in this country were born after 1950 so they're too young to know the history of "skinny vs. fat." The advent of skinny being sexy hadn't existed before Twiggy. I know because my nickname in high school was "Broom." No one thought I was attractive. I think I paid my first date to take me to a high school dance or maybe I blackmailed my brother into doing it.  Everyone thought I was too skinny. Then came Twiggy and she made skinny beautiful. So, without doing a thing I went from being "Broom" and unattractively skinny to an overnight sensation (O.K. That's an exaggeration but you get my point). With a flip of the advertising industry I could stop being embarrassed and start being cool, which, it turned out wasn't that much fun anyway. In the 1950s Marilyn Monroe had the "ideal" body and was considered one of the sexiest women on the planet. Marilyn was a size fourteen. Today she would be considered chubby or even fat. Here is a...

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DEPRESSION, WHAT IT IS, WHAT NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS IT

July 2, 2014
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| Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Life Stress, Parenting/Children, Personal Growth, Relationships, Seniors, Transitions, Trauma

Here is a link to a blog article about depression and what well intentioned people shouldn't say to anyone who is depressed. The interesting thing about what not to say is that most people will be tempted to say at least one of the eleven listed because they seem so, well, helpful or distracting or humorous. None of these eleven statements are helpful to people suffering from depression. Depression can be situational or a person may have a genetic predisposition for depression and, in either case, there are better things to do. For one, encouraging a depressed person to share with you what they're feeling then listening and responding with empathic statements like, "It sounds like you're having a hard time right now," or "Tell me how you're feeling so I can try to understand." Taking the time to listen without comparing what they're saying to what you feel or your Aunt Gertrude feels can be very comforting and even helpful to a depressed person. Here's the link to what not to say: www.medicalbillingandcoding.org/blog/11-things-you-should-never-say-to-someone-with-depression  

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